Usually, when I am taking some time off, I mention taking a moment of reflection. Typically means picking myself apart to improve whatever I think needs improving. Or changing something about myself that someone has pointed out. Over time with all of that reflecting, I ended up beating myself up and neglecting to see the good in me.
I did not realize how hard I was on myself until speaking to my mentor. She mentioned that nothing but negative spewed out my mouth when referencing myself. It has been expressed to me before; it resonated more so because this was our first conversation. She noticed this within 30 minutes and made me feel like I do this more often than I thought.
After hanging up with her, I thought to myself, "Is my self-talk that bad?" I knew the answer, but I needed to deflect a little bit before accepting that I may habitually bad-talk myself. Could it be that maybe some of the feelings and energy I felt about myself could have been orchestrated by how others treat me? Maybe? But I decided to take others out of it and make it solely about me.
I was already in the works of launching my new blog series, "Project Me," but this changed my angle. I realized it would be beneficial to be kind to myself. Beating myself up would defeat the whole self-journey. It would not be too enjoyable learning about me when I am dubious of every ability or capability along the way.
My mentor challenged me to say good things about myself…
The ellipsis is not random, I legit paused. If you asked me about someone else, I could write a novel about how wonderful they are. Why is that? Does it mean I loathe myself? Could it be the fear of appearing arrogant? Could the reason be that I never thought about doing it?
I have always strived to be what I thought I should be and robbed myself of experiencing who I am. I am always in between the portals of the past or the future. When I accomplish goals, I don't even take the time to bask in that accomplishment. Instead, I am always looking for how I can reach this made-up sense of self.
This made-up idea originated from how I thought people should behave. It's obnoxious and maybe even pretentious to create this persona of what a person should be. More so, it's unobtainable and stressful while trying to achieve it. I mean, what is wrong with the person I am? Even with the imperfections, I am perfectly me.
Accepting myself for who I am, is not all that scary. The funny thing is my quest for perfection was a massive skeleton in my closet. What if I am just fine being me? Which translates to I am just fine being me. My only expectation is to be me.
"Go big and don't do it all." is the attitude I've always secretly had. Most ideas I've had morphed into reality. For instance, this blog started with a simple website and is now a podcast, a Youtube Channel, a freelancing business, and whatever else I think of in the future. I am no dummy either I have an M.B.A in Human Resource Management and work for one of the top Universities in the country in the HR field.
I have been married to my 20+ year best friend for 11 years. Both of my parents are living and love me. I am the oldest of my siblings and love talking with them and sometimes bossing them around. I have a massive support system of family and friends. I am creative, adventurous, sassy, goofy, know a lot of pointless facts, and just all-around a giving person. I love people yet fear their intentions simultaneously, but that doesn't stop me from loving them anyway. And not to mention my smile…ooh weeeee!
It turns out it is not the fallacy of who I think I should be is dope. It is the ACTUAL me that is dope! Well, look at that.
Do you have a hard time complimenting yourself? In the comments, I challenge you to state three things you love about yourself.