When life falls short, do you blame yourself? If someone wrongs you, do you automatically blame yourself? Are there times you don't feel good enough?
If so, have you ever evaluated your self-talk? There is a famous scripture, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Proverb 18:21. Means you have the power to speak life into a situation, into a dream, into an opportunity, into your community, and so forth. What if I told you that your self-talk could be one of the things holding you back?
Hear Me Out
When you look at yourself in the mirror, what are the words you speak to yourself? When you make a mistake, how do you address it? When someone compliments you, how do you respond? These may sound like crazy questions, but when I asked myself, I was shocked by the realization. I used the words, "It's never going to happen," "I don't get things like that," and "things never work out for me." Well, with that talk, of course, they won't. I noticed when I changed my self-talk to "this was not the opportunity for me," "I am capable of obtaining all I desire," and "things are working for my good," which seemed to add a fresher perspective to my life.
What is the Root of this Negative Self-Talk?
Ironically, this negative self-talk did not begin with you. Most likely, these words and ideals are derived from what you've been told growing up. It came from those deceivingly subtle repetitive statements from family, teachers, and the community we grew up in. It comes from a lack of nurturing when you make a mistake feeding into the perspective that "you were not good enough." The idea of not feeling enough for you is unrealistic, considering everything about you is your definition of you. You cannot be inadequate of yourself. Others may feel you are not enough or too much for them, but you are who you are supposed to be now, and it is enough and even more than what you need to survive.
Considering the root of how we see ourselves are predicated on others' opinions, how do we reverse this?
The simple answer is to learn who you are. Tap into your inner power. Seek God to reveal your potential. The problematic response is to learn to tune out the thoughts and opinions that don't align with what you discovered about yourself. Over the years, I realized there are no good and bad things about us, just components that make up who we are. Our actions drive the optics for others to determine our character but understanding someone and their decisions would take understanding and respect.
When people are on the outside looking in, it is easy for them to make up why you do what. It takes a genuine and empathetic person to speak with a person and learn what drives their decision. Conclusively, this life journey has everything to do with you and little to do with people's opinions. I am not saying don't take advice; I am saying discern what is being said to you and determine if it is constructive or destructive.
Another task would be to reverse how you feel about yourself. This hinges on getting to learn yourself and your purpose. Besides the controversy always wrapped around Kanye, one thing you can't say is that he is confident in himself, his ability, and his purpose. When you stand firm in who you are, nothing someone says can sway you or even affect you. It is apparent we are not perfect human beings, but who is striving for that anyway. Even with the daily changes, we attempt to make, the foundation of who we are is everlasting, even through death.
With us consistently evolving, we indelibly learn what we are made of, what we will tolerate, and the life we want to create. Whether life is fantastic or currently kicking you in the ass, your words and the thoughts you entertain can make or break you. Before I end this, I want you to recite,"I am the most fantastic person I will ever encounter, and despite how behind I feel in life, I am exactly where I am supposed to be." Give yourself a break because you're doing the best you can.
Don't Be Shy: Have you recently evaluated your self-talk? What did you discover? How will you maintain or change the words you speak about yourself?