Updated: Jun 15, 2022
According to Google, ghosting is "the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication." And in my words, I think it is the most indirect open-ended rude thing a person close to you can ever do. Even though I have my strong thoughts about it, people do have the power to protect their peace. Yet, in a long-term relationship, there should be some mutual concern that would at least compel a person to have a conversation with you. This relationship is not limited to a significant other but can also pertain to long-term friendships.
Of course, there are instances when a person has hurt someone to the point of no return. People often take the "Casper" approach to avoid hard conversations. Unbeknownst to some, complex discussions can increase the strength of that relationship and expose misunderstandings. But if the exchange never occurs, a relationship could immaturely die.
There is that saying, "if you let go, it will come back"; however, if a person does not seem important enough for a conversation, they should remain gone. Point blank: ghosting a person is traumatizing. Depending on the person, some may go through a rabbit hole of thoughts, wondering what, why, when, and how. They are left wondering what they could have done so wrong not to be worthy of a phone call or a meet-up. It could play into some people's abandonment triggers, especially if the person has repeatedly ghosted you.
There is a Difference between Ghosting Someone or Taking a Break
The short answer, the difference between the two is a conversation. I've had friends that have discussed taking a break from our friendship. Although I wouldn't say I liked it, I had to respect it because people can have whomever they want in their space. To play devil's advocate, people can decide if they will communicate their permanent and temporary exit as well.
According to an article on Lovepanky.com, "ghosting is an option, but it should never be used as an excuse to avoid a conversation. Know, once done; there is likely no turning back or repairing the relationship." Even with the friendships that went on hold, there was still a rebuilding period when they returned to my life. If a person vanishes out someone's life and returns, it is almost "nerve" for them to want to step back into your space.
How Do You Handle Being Ghosted?
For starters, accept the end of the relationship. You could keep dialing the number, sending countless texts, but the fact remains they will not respond. If they haven't answered the first fifty-eleven times you reached out, you are kidding yourself into believing they will all of sudden respond to you.
Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt. "They are just going through something" is sometimes a lame excuse. Especially if you are witnessing them hanging out and responding to everyone else.
Don't blame yourself. It's so easy to dissect your personality into a million pieces; however, we are not perfect. Sure, there may have been some things we could have done better, but without knowing the reason as to why the relationship ended, it is impossible to see the root cause. It is not fair to always assume you are the root cause for all the separations in your life. If you feel like you were the toxic one, work on yourself and improve your behavior for the subsequent love interest or friend.
Although ghosting is not a good feeling, maybe it's God's way of removing someone that should not be in your life anymore. Some relationships are seasonal, and most times, when they end, we mourn the past and future plans attached to that person.
Don't Be Shy? Have you ever been ghosted by a friend or love interest? How did you handle it? Also, have you ever ghosted a love interest and friend? What was your reasoning?